Jenifer Lyn Photography » Wife, Mother, and Wedding Photographer Extraordinaire

My husband will tell you that I have this awful habit of eavesdropping on conversations near me. I could try to openly deny it, but I find that lying isn’t a good policy. It’s true – I eavesdrop. I don’t think I mean to. I firmly believe that being a wedding photographer has made me extremely attuned to my surroundings. When I’m at a wedding I’m always looking, listening, watching for the next image. Who is interacting with whom? Where’s the bride? The groom? Did that groomsman just say he was going to go “decorate” the couple’s car? So you see???? Eavesdropping is part of my job. Sure…..

So on this one particular day a few months ago, despite the fact I was not shooting an event or wedding, I found myself thoroughly engrossed in a series of conversations a woman was having on her cell phone at the table next to us at the bookstore. (I love bookstores – they’re the perfect place to sit and edit images while enjoying coffee, well, decaf while I was pregnant). I honestly didn’t mean to eavesdrop – I told you, it just happens. And to make matters worse, she wasn’t too quiet about it, either.

Onto what this has to do with anything – - this poor woman, it turns out was a bride-to-be getting married that Saturday (it was a Monday). She was leaving a message for the woman she hired to style her hair for the wedding day. From her conversations, I learned she hadn’t heard from her in over a month, despite leaving several messages and e-mails and she was getting concerned that she was going to be left with no one to do her hair on her big day. She then called no less than 5 people (though I’m pretty sure I heard the story more than just 6 times) to tell them how nervous and frustrated she was. In those conversations she admitted the hairdresser was just starting out and was a friend of a friend, but had done the wedding of another friend and she looked gorgeous.

Now, I don’t know the whole story – I can’t, since the hairstylist wasn’t there to share her side of the story. I won’t take sides. I don’t know that the bride actually sent multiple emails or messages – and I don’t know that the hairdresser hadn’t responded in over a month. It’s possible it’s been only a couple weeks and the hairdresser is busy and the bride is too anxious to wait for an answer. Or it’s possible that the bride and the hairdresser have a different idea of the amount of communication that needs to occur prior to a wedding. I. just. don’t. know.

What I do know is this – perception is reality. That bride felt ignored and was beyond frantic trying to figure out how she was going to find a new stylist for her and her bridesmaids with only a few days before the wedding – hardly enough time for a runthrough. I felt bad. All of a sudden I wanted to  be a hairstylist so I could offer my services to her.

What I instantly realized is that her conversation could have occurred with ANY of her vendors like that. It could have been a photographer, videographer, DJ, florist – you name it. There are literally dozens of new businesses opening up each year in any of those categories. With the economy the way that it is, couples are looking to cut costs and hire a “friend of a friend” for so many aspects of the wedding day. As I’ve said before, this can work out perfectly. Unfortunately, I’m hearing more and  more about people who are getting burned by nonprofessionals because, well….they are nonprofessional. Or unprofessional. Well, both.

For the true Uncle Bob’s out there (you know, the guests at a wedding with kind-of-nice-cameras who think they can do as good of a job as the professional. Don’t get me wrong – I think it’s great that the bride and groom get so many great pictures to go along with the professional images.) providing a service to a friend or a friend of a friend for their one and only wedding day, well that can be a huge risk. What does s/he have to lose? Possibly a friendship – but certainly not income. What do you as a bride have to lose? Your wedding day.

Please be careful. Know what risks you are taking if you choose to hire a nonprofessional. Saving a little money beforehand can potentially cost you more money, or worse, memories, in the long run. I wish this were the only lesson to be taken from this overheard conversation, but it unfortunately gets worse, involving the contract. But I’ll save that for another post.

Since I totally have spring fever, and I love flowers, here’s an image from one of last year’s weddings:

I was just sitting here listening to the radio while I work (as I usually do – I love music of all kinds) when a commercial came on for a gown sale. Now, I don’t typically listen to radio ads – I’ve learned how to tune them right out. But this one caught my attention with a sentence in it that went something like: “Get designer gowns at hundreds less than you’d normally pay!” REALLY?! Hundreds less?

So here we are! Final post in the Formals Quartet series. I view this not really as a topic of its own, but a culmination of everything I mentioned earlier. All the decisions you made about style and number really boil down to how much time you want to allot for formals. Of course it is entirely up to you, but there are a few things I think you should consider.

Cocktail Hour

Should you take formals during the cocktail hour? While it is customary to use the cocktail hour time for taking formals, some couples decide they want to spend all or part of the cocktail hour partying with their friends. If that describes you, then I suggest you set the cocktail hour to begin a little later than normal – giving time between the ceremony and cocktail hour for the formals. Your guests will wait  - and if you put the time on the invitations beforehand, they’ll know exactly what to expect and will plan accordingly.

I actually just had a conversation with a woman about this very topic (it’s amazing the wedding conversations that I get to have as soon as people learn that I’m a wedding photographer!). Her daughter and son-in-law are adamant  about attending the entire cocktail hour and only planned 20 minutes for formals between the ceremony and the start of the party. My initial thought was – that does not give their photographer much time at all to take formals. I’ve found that it is really difficult (but not impossible) to pull off a lengthy list of images in that amount of time. But I listened to the rest of the story with intrigue…she then told me that since the groom is buying his tux and of course, the bride bought her gown, they are opting to do one-on-one formals when they return from their honeymoon. After hearing that, I see they planned ahead well and really talked over their options with their photographer.

See Each Other Beforehand

Another time/timing thought to consider is if you are willing to see each other before the ceremony. I’ve done quite a few weddings where we did the formals before the ceremony began. I know what you may be thinking: “I really want to see the look on his face when he sees me for the first time in my dress coming down that aisle.” I totally appreciate that. That is exactly what I thought about my wedding day, too. But consider this for a moment, if you would. We could set up a very intimate one-on-one reveal between the two of you. He waits for you in a special place. You appear looking beautiful as ever. And you get a very personal “first look” between just the two of you. Well, and me and my second shooter and our cameras…but you get the idea. Couples who have done it have all told me they were glad they did because it gave us a lot of time to take a great number of formals with everyone. Plus they get to enjoy their cocktail hour.

Length

How much time do you need? Well, that depends on how many photographs you want. I typically suggest an hour of dedicated (uninterrupted) time for formals. Of course, all of the other factors I mentioned in earlier posts can impact how long formals will take. As a photographer (again, MY point of view), I would love to have more time than that to spend with the couple – it allows for more fun and relaxed portraits in something other than the typical poses. But if you just cannot give it, then realize your decision will impact the number of people, number of portraits, style and types of formals your photographer will be able to get for you.

I had to put this one in here – LOVE this image of Steve and Roz at the Madison Surf Club in CT. They were real troopers in holding still while we slowed down the shutter to get the little moon in the image. Special thanks to Ken Shing-Law for the idea and help with execution (and for shooting with me that day!).

Plan B

This isn’t necessarily about “time” like the title suggests, but having a Plan B, while no one actually WANTS to have to use it, is really important. This is New England, after all. And the possibility of rain (or snow – YIKES!) is a real possibility. I can always help devise a plan B that day, if we need one, but it’s really better for you if you come up with one beforehand.

This is a good example of a quick plan B we put together on a very cold November day – put the jackets on the ladies!

I sincerely hope this series on formals helps you make the decisions for your wedding day easier so you get what you want.

Third in the “Formals Quartet” series of tips for brides revolves around what style images you would like for your formal portraits. Style is very personal. You know what you like. You know what you don’t like. When it comes to the formal portraits for your wedding, though, what would you like to see? This is definitely something you should take some time to think about, then spend some time talking to your photographer about. If you are one of the couples working with me, we will go over this about a month before your wedding when we are going over your finalized details/timeline.

All formal portraits are posed – that is what a formal portrait is. I’ve heard other photographers/bridal planning sites refer to formals in so many different ways. Call formals what you will, but bottom line is that they are all posed – or they would be candids. BUT, posed doesn’t have to mean stiff and, well, “formal”.

I think when most people think of formals, this is the kind of image that comes to mind:

This is definitely a formal portrait. However, a formal portrait can also be this:

Or this one…

Or one of my all time favorite set of “formals” to take this one – they sure knew how to have fun!!!!

So your takeaway on this post is to consider whether you want to take a more fun approach to the formal portraits of you and your husband and or bridal party in addition to the standard formals with your family and friends. If you do want that, consider who you’d want that with. Do you want to do some fun shots with just the two of you? Or would you like to do that AND have some fun images of you and your wedding party?  What do YOU want?

To continue my bridal tip on planning for formals, I thought the next most important factor for you to consider is the number. And by number I mean:

1. The number of people you want included in the formal portraits
2. The number of different formal portrait combinations you want taken

Number of People

How many people do you want photographed in your formal portraits? Do you  just want the two of you? Or maybe you just want immediate family (brothers/sisters and parents). Or perhaps with the whole wedding party. Maybe your godparents mean a lot to you, or your grandparents will be in attendance and you want formal images with them. Or perhaps this is the first time all your college friends have been together in 5 years and you want one with them. WHO you want in the images it totally up to you. Only you as a couple can know who is important to you and needs to be in these images.

Once you have identified everyone you want in formals, I suggest you pick someone you can trust who can be placed in charge of making sure everyone is where we need them to be at the correct time. This is very important to making sure formals flow quickly and smoothly. If it’s really important to you to have Uncle Bob in your formals and someone has to go looking for him, that can take time away from the formals. Also, the person you choose to “be in charge” of gathering everyone should be someone who is not on your list to be included in the formals. I know your wedding day is a day to lean on your bridesmaids for help, but if one of your bridesmaids is off looking for Uncle Bob, we can’t do the formals with Uncle Bob OR your bridesmaid. So I often suggest you give that responsibility to someone you can trust, like an aunt or cousin, or close friend who knows everyone and can gather them for you (and isn’t needed in a formal themselves).

In addition, communication with everyone beforehand is a great idea. At the rehearsal dinner, take a moment to speak to everyone and let them know where they need to be and when. That way on your wedding day, your friends and family know exactly where to be.

Number of Combinations

How many different variations of formals are you going to want? This covers everything from extended family, to the wedding party, to just the two of you. The one-hour typical time frame I suggest won’t be enough if you have several different groups of people (adding this one, taking away that one  - oh, wait, one of the four of us with Grandma, then one without). If you anticipate a large number of different formals, then you should plan more than an hour to make sure we don’t miss any.  My suggestion on that, though, is to really think about who are the true “don’t miss” people. Whoever they are – plan for posed formals with them. Everyone else can be captured in a less formal setting during the reception.

Lists

I know a lot of wedding planning websites and books (binders, notebooks, etc.) tell you that you should create a checklist of images to give to your photographer so that s/he know which formals to do. I disagree wholeheartedly… to a point. I am very interested in knowing who you want in your formal images. However, I really make it a point to discuss formals with the couples I work with before the wedding day. I even have a partial list of formals embedded into my contract. However, creating an extensive list and giving it to me to follow on your wedding day doesn’t really help either of us.

By the time we do formals (if we do them after the ceremony), I know who your parents and wedding attendants are. I can easily pull them together and get the images of them I know you wanted. BUT, as soon as you add in aunts/uncles, friends not in the wedding, grandparents, etc., now I have no idea who you mean. Which person is your husband’s grandmother on his Dad’s side? Who is your brother’s wife? I can’t know everyone. So if you hand me a list and expect me to follow it, you basically set me up to fail.

Instead, I suggest you create a list (from hereon called a “guide”) and give that guide to your “person in charge”. That way they know who needs to be there and which images you want. I still cannot (and will not) guarantee (there are no guarantees on a wedding day!) we won’t miss any one or any image, but this way works much better for everyone. And I have had a lot of experience trying different options, and this has by far worked the best for me and the couples I work with.

Formal portraits can be so much fun and can run so smoothly if you do jut a little preparation before your big day. And we can get a lot of great shots for you to remember and share with your family and friends forever.

Next in the quartet of planning formals – style…stay tuned, and happy planning!

Today’s “Things Every Bride Should Know” tip starts a discussion about formal portrait sessions on your wedding day.  The amount of time you allot for formals and the proximity of the location of where you want them done are key factors to consider to help ensure you get the number and style of photographs that you want. I will cover only location today, and do more in the next few posts on other important factors.

So location…you will want to pick a location that you like. I know that sounds obvious, but it’s not always the easiest decision to make. Do you like the beach? Are you outdoorsy? What do YOU and your spouse-to-be like? Here are some things I suggest you consider about the location:

Outdoors or Indoors

Do you want your formal images outside, or do you prefer indoor settings? I personally prefer the great outdoors, but many venues have beautiful indoor locations that are perfect for formals. Since this is New England, though, if you plan on outdoor formals, you should also have a Plan “B” indoors. You just never know!

Personally, I LOVE outdoor formals. There are so many pretty locations throughout New England that provide amazing light and color. Steve and Roz got married on the beach on an overcast, but hot and beautiful day. So it made a LOT of sense to do formals right on the beach.

Cheryl & Eric however, got married on a VERY cold day in November. While it was sunny, we opted to stay inside for most of the formals. That definitely made sense for us that day. I chose this one because it’s fun and so are they – so cute!

Background is NOT Everything

You are. Seriously. The focus of every formal portrait is you. I sometimes find myself struggling to get the background into the photograph. I really like to fill each image with you. It’s nice to have a few images in which the background tells the story of where you are. However, most times, you end up being so small in the image that it’s hard to see you – unless you enlarge the image to an 11 x 14 inch print. So when considering a location, consider where the light is good rather than great background elements. Aside from a few images, we won’t even see the background anyway.

Amanda and Tim got married at The International in Bolton, MA – a GORGEOUS venue for outdoor formals. We literally could have spent an entire day going from location to location getting different poses/backgrounds, etc.  We went to quite a few places and had a blast getting so many differently great images. I wanted to show you a series of three just to show you how background really shouldn’t be your number one consideration.

This first one is taken from far away. I love this image for many reasons, not the least of which is the subjects!

This one is in the same spot, only closer. And to be totally honest, I love it. I like it more than the last one because the focus is on them. And how cute they are!

And to take it one more – this is my 110% absolute favorite image of these two from their wedding. Same location, only closer. And though there is a blurred background in back, you don’t really look at it. What you see is them. And that is what is important.

I do want to say – I think a mixture of far away and close up images is important. But I will tell you this – the close up images are the ones couples choose to enlarge and put on their walls. Every time.

At the Venue or Not

Is there an area at the venue (either the ceremony or the reception site) that is just perfect for formals? Or is there somewhere else you’d really like to go? If you want to go somewhere else (which I think can be really fun!), you will want to consider how close the location is to the reception site. If you are travelling between a ceremony and reception – is it along the way? The reason I bring this up is that you need to consider travel time when planning for time. (I will cover more about time in the last part of this miniseries – Huh, I sound like a Nora Roberts novel now…).

Diana and Dan got married in downtown Boston in a gorgeous church on an extremely hot day. They chose to travel to the John Joseph Moakley U.S. Courthouse on Boston Harbor for their formals. And I’m so glad they did. We found a great piece of grass to stand on and got the water and boats behind them. Just a great place for formals.

Near Your Guests

Sometimes you have no choice but to do the formals near where your guests are, based on the set up of the venue. However, if you can avoid it, please do. You will thank me for it later. Your family and friends cannot wait to extend you their congratulations – and as wonderful as that is, it can lengthen the time it takes to get through all the planned formals.

This is the hardest part of my “job”. I often feel like a bodyguard or police officer escorting the couple through the crowd. And I hate to tell people they need to wait until later to talk to you. But if I don’t, we run out of time and you don’t get the images you hired me to get. And that makes me feel worse. So I have perfected the art of tactfully and nicely explaining that I will get you back to them (your family and friends) as quickly as possible. And I always do!

That’s all I have about location – all of these choices are completely 110% yours to make. I merely want to give you a little insight into the process in hopes that you plan accordingly to get exactly what you want.

Times are tough – the economy tanked (beginning years ago), job loss, though steadying, is still occurring and the unemployment rate in Massachusetts is currently the highest it’s been since the 1970s (according to a Boston Globe article). All this uncertainty has led many couples to try to find ways to reduce the cost of their wedding day. From eloping, to backyard barbecues, I’ve read so many articles suggesting tips for cutting costs. But the ones that scare me personally the most are those that suggest you choose a photography student over a so-called “high-priced” professional photographer to capture your wedding day events.

As a professional photographer, I think you know where I stand on this. Don’t do it. But if you do, know what you are getting into beforehand.

All photographers, myself included, had to start somewhere. Some went to school for it, others learned from their dads when they were young and have been shooting images ever since. Not one single photographer could be where they are now without the faith of some other person. Maybe it was a family member who trusted them to cover their wedding. Maybe a friend of a friend hired them at a low cost to cover their wedding that they ultimately wouldn’t have a photographer for with out them. How each photographer got started differs from person to person. But the thing to remember is that they all – even the best of the best now – got started somewhere.

So, while I feel strongly you should not hire a student photographer, I could be dead wrong, depending on that student. You could find yourself with one of the most talented photographers you’ve ever met. And you could LOVE your wedding images and have saved yourself hundreds, perhaps thousands of dollars. On the flip side to that, you could pay  thousands of dollars for a “professional” only to hate the images. There is no true right or wrong answer to this, just opinions. And here’s mine - should you choose to go with a student, I strongly feel like you should consider the risks associated with that. Here are some of the things you should really consider:

Insurance

Professional photographers know that insurance is super important to cover themselves, their gear, and the well-being of the couples they are hired to work with. If something goes wrong (and let’s be honest, we don’t ever want that to happen, but the reality is, it can and does happen), without insurance, couples have no way of getting back their investment from the photographer. You can hope they will reimburse you the full cost of what was lost, but there is no assurance of that without insurance.

Back ups

Professional photographers know the importance of back ups. Back up equipment (for everything they own), back up photographers (in the event something prevents them from shooting a wedding on their own), back up media cards (in case theirs fail), and backing up those media cards to other media (in case of hard drive failure – you won’t lose all your precious wedding day images). All (or most) of this costs money to the photographer – a cost that is passed to you as the consumer, hence the varying costs of photographers. This is just another example of circumstances you as a bride never want to have to deal with, but the reality is, you-know-what happens. And if it does, do you know what your photographer will do? If you hire a student with one camera and it fails – what will they do? If the photographer you hired is seriously injured in an accident – will you be left with no one?

Image Style/Quality

Can the photographer you are considering show you a body of work (larger than a few images) that you really like? I’ve heard horror stories of people who looked at a photographer’s online gallery only to later find out the gallery was mostly stolen from other photographer’s websites. In order for you to be happy with your images, you need to know that the image quality and style from your photographer matches what you have in mind for your wedding. Most professionals have shot so many weddings that they can show you full weddings – more than enough images for you to decide if their portfolio really expresses their true capabilities.

Number of Weddings as Sole Photographer

Photographing a wedding is stressful. I personally love it. But the stress is there. What’s going to happen? Will everything go as planned? The answer to that is always “no”, by the way. When you choose your photographer you will want to know that he or she can handle the stress. Wedding days are super fast-paced. Your photographer needs to be able to keep up with that pace (even stay a step ahead). He or she needs to be able to go with the flow and handle setbacks or deviations from the original schedule. If you are thinking of hiring a student, realize that while they may have the skills to make amazing images, their ability to handle the stress and pace of the day is equally important.

Personality

Aside from technical ability, I think personality is a close second in priority for a wedding photographer. I may even argue it’s tied for first. You are with your photographer (at a minimum) for your entire wedding day. If you have a full package, then you’ve been with them for engagement session(s) and then after the wedding to design your album. This is a long time to be with someone you don’t like. It’s really important that you get along and really “click” (no pun intended) with your photographer. Now that I reread this, I realize this is simply a tip for choosing ANY photographer, student or professional. It’s really THAT important.

I could go on, but I think I’ve given you enough to consider the pros and cons of this decision. No two weddings are the same, therefore the photographic needs for those weddings differs dramatically. All I ask is that you consider everything before making your decision to hire your photographer (student or pro).

And since no post is complete without an image, I’m closing with one of my favorites. Well, two actually.

Another feature I wanted to create on my blog for you is a series of articles on things I think every bride should know or consider when making wedding day decisions. Everything I write about today and in future articles will be from the only perspective I have – that of the wedding photographer (and one-time bride). I realize that my articles could seem self-serving – something created to make my job easier. You know what, that could be partly the case. But my motivation for writing these is all the wonderful brides I’ve already had the pleasure of working with and all those I hope to be blessed to work with in the future. Wedding planning is not an easy process. There are so many details – things I can’t even begin to cover in my little photography blog. But what I hope to do is ease some of your worries/stress by providing you with tools and knowledge to help you make your decisions and weed through some of the details to make your day better.

I can’t tell you how many times a bride I’m working with has said to me “Thank you! I never thought of that!”. After hearing that a few times, I realized – I attend more weddings in one year than most people do in their life. And I LOVE it! That aside, though, being around weddings all the time gives me knowledge and insight that I wish I had when I was planning my own wedding.

When I got married, rather, when I set out to plan our wedding, I remember thinking – I’m marrying my BEST friend, this is going to be fun! We are getting married! We are going to have the best night of our lives and nothing is going to get in the way of that. Then reality hit. There were SO many more details and options for those details than I ever knew existed. I quickly realized I was going to have to work at it if I was going to have the wedding I had always dreamed of (and let’s be honest, though we are getting married to the best man in the world – it’s really about the wedding us girls have always dreamed of. I’m fairly certain most men didn’t play Wedding Day with dandelions in their backyards every summer.) Hard work doesn’t always equal fun. There. I said it. Planning a wedding isn’t always fun. But it shouldn’t have to be that way. I was overwhelmed and I didn’t know where to begin.

I can’t tell you where to begin – though I CAN suggest you start with an approximate date and get your venue and date booked before moving forward with your other decisions. I’ve started reviewing venues as part of the other series of articles I’m doing here. Maybe they can help you – maybe not, but I hope they can! However, that’s not the focus of this series.

What I want to do here is put the focus on photography. It should come as no surprise that I think photography is the single most important aspect of your wedding day. I have always thought that. The church/ceremony location sets the level of spirituality of the day. The venue sets the mood and formality of the celebration. The flowers add elegance and personal touch to go along with the color and style choice for your dress, his tux (or suit or jeans!) and the attendant’s outfits. But the photography (and arguably videography – but that’s another discussion) preserves those moments, those details, those feelings for you and your family – forever.

Now that you know where I am coming from and what my intentions are, I want to leave you with a wish for a very happy new year and a hope that your wedding planning goes well. And is fun.

Oh, and what is a photographer’s blog without an image?! Here is one of my favorites from 2009. (Ok, full disclosure on this, it literally took me 2 hours to pick just one. And I changed my mind 30 times. So I repeat – this is ONE of my 100s of favorites from this year. Maybe I should just make an album of all my favorites and share that? Hmmm)