My husband will tell you that I have this awful habit of eavesdropping on conversations near me. I could try to openly deny it, but I find that lying isn’t a good policy. It’s true – I eavesdrop. I don’t think I mean to. I firmly believe that being a wedding photographer has made me extremely attuned to my surroundings. When I’m at a wedding I’m always looking, listening, watching for the next image. Who is interacting with whom? Where’s the bride? The groom? Did that groomsman just say he was going to go “decorate” the couple’s car? So you see???? Eavesdropping is part of my job. Sure…..
So on this one particular day a few months ago, despite the fact I was not shooting an event or wedding, I found myself thoroughly engrossed in a series of conversations a woman was having on her cell phone at the table next to us at the bookstore. (I love bookstores – they’re the perfect place to sit and edit images while enjoying coffee, well, decaf while I was pregnant). I honestly didn’t mean to eavesdrop – I told you, it just happens. And to make matters worse, she wasn’t too quiet about it, either.
Onto what this has to do with anything – - this poor woman, it turns out was a bride-to-be getting married that Saturday (it was a Monday). She was leaving a message for the woman she hired to style her hair for the wedding day. From her conversations, I learned she hadn’t heard from her in over a month, despite leaving several messages and e-mails and she was getting concerned that she was going to be left with no one to do her hair on her big day. She then called no less than 5 people (though I’m pretty sure I heard the story more than just 6 times) to tell them how nervous and frustrated she was. In those conversations she admitted the hairdresser was just starting out and was a friend of a friend, but had done the wedding of another friend and she looked gorgeous.
Now, I don’t know the whole story – I can’t, since the hairstylist wasn’t there to share her side of the story. I won’t take sides. I don’t know that the bride actually sent multiple emails or messages – and I don’t know that the hairdresser hadn’t responded in over a month. It’s possible it’s been only a couple weeks and the hairdresser is busy and the bride is too anxious to wait for an answer. Or it’s possible that the bride and the hairdresser have a different idea of the amount of communication that needs to occur prior to a wedding. I. just. don’t. know.
What I do know is this – perception is reality. That bride felt ignored and was beyond frantic trying to figure out how she was going to find a new stylist for her and her bridesmaids with only a few days before the wedding – hardly enough time for a runthrough. I felt bad. All of a sudden I wanted to be a hairstylist so I could offer my services to her.
What I instantly realized is that her conversation could have occurred with ANY of her vendors like that. It could have been a photographer, videographer, DJ, florist – you name it. There are literally dozens of new businesses opening up each year in any of those categories. With the economy the way that it is, couples are looking to cut costs and hire a “friend of a friend” for so many aspects of the wedding day. As I’ve said before, this can work out perfectly. Unfortunately, I’m hearing more and more about people who are getting burned by nonprofessionals because, well….they are nonprofessional. Or unprofessional. Well, both.
For the true Uncle Bob’s out there (you know, the guests at a wedding with kind-of-nice-cameras who think they can do as good of a job as the professional. Don’t get me wrong – I think it’s great that the bride and groom get so many great pictures to go along with the professional images.) providing a service to a friend or a friend of a friend for their one and only wedding day, well that can be a huge risk. What does s/he have to lose? Possibly a friendship – but certainly not income. What do you as a bride have to lose? Your wedding day.
Please be careful. Know what risks you are taking if you choose to hire a nonprofessional. Saving a little money beforehand can potentially cost you more money, or worse, memories, in the long run. I wish this were the only lesson to be taken from this overheard conversation, but it unfortunately gets worse, involving the contract. But I’ll save that for another post.
Since I totally have spring fever, and I love flowers, here’s an image from one of last year’s weddings:

by jsellon
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